Fearless

food mood correlation

2012-02-29T16:44:00.002-05:00

I don't know why when I'm sick I eat horribly. Really I just eat everything in sight, really cold or really hot, just to scrape at my throat and remove the mucus trapped there. And the last couple days especially I've felt emotionally horrible, too. My sickness causes me to eat horribly which causes me to feel horrible which causes me to eat to soothe myself... you get the picture. It's a

four kinds of -itises

2012-02-27T21:05:00.001-05:00

Good lord I'm sick. My poor doctor. I finally went in to my primary care physician today because I'm so tired of getting sick. I've had strep throat twice in the last two months (diagnosed in the emergency care clinic close to my house), and this makes the third time. I'm not a happy camper. I don't really want a tonsillectomy, though. I joke that I do only because I'm in pain. Here's a rundown

true inner self

2012-02-26T14:34:00.000-05:00

So for my 30 day workbook Day 24 has me reflecting upon my true inner self. What the heck is that? I don't really know, sad as that is. I know who I am character-wise, and I am true to that person--I am loving and I am funny. But who am I otherwise? Do my character traits define my inner self? Sort of. Does my body define it? Maybe it's a reflection of it, and maybe that's why I've had such a

mirror, mirror on the wall

2012-02-23T21:20:00.002-05:00

Guys, I have a confession to make. I love my mirror. I mean, yes I love checking myself out, but not just when I look good. I work out in my mirror sometimes. When I do yoga or do weights, I'll check my form in the mirror. I always have good form, but with the aid of the mirror I have fantastic form. Also in some poses I am reminded just how fantastic my boobs are and how not flabby my stomach is

shot fearless out of the water

2012-02-20T12:09:00.000-05:00

Well yesterday I crossed off an item from my fearless to-do list. I shot a pistol. With bullets. At a target. OH MY GOD. When the idea was suggested I was like, "are you serious?" with the biggest smile on my face. I was so excited I repeated the question. Having a firearm in my hands is terrifying. My heart was pounding. My breathing was light and fast. My hands were sweaty and my arms were

blog explosion

2012-02-13T09:47:00.002-05:00

Last week: 222.0 This week: 219.0 Difference: -3.0 Now that's what I'm talking about :) Today's entry is a blog explosion because it contains a whole lot of blog entries in one... I restrained myself this week! I have to say as much as I HATE weight training, it is doing me a lot of good! On Saturday I had to work a double shift for the first time in awhile. I hate working doubles because in

how do I make it stop?

2012-02-08T02:08:00.001-05:00

I don't know how to stop myself from binging. I really don't. I'm really trying to work through my feelings in the moment but a lot of time my mind is 100% on food and I just don't care. Now I'm in that regret mode and I'm so upset. It started out innocently enough. I was watching my guilty pleasure show, Dance Moms, after watching Biggest Loser. I had another hour of television queued up on the

shiny and new motivation page!

2012-02-06T13:38:00.002-05:00

Hey again everyone! I just wanted to quickly point out my new Motivation page at the top of my blog! It used to be a page where I kept my motivation, but I never really updated it or looked at it, so it wasn't doing the job. Since I found pinterest I've pinned TONS of inspirational quotes, sayings, and pictures related to fitness and that has really become my motivation board. Check it out and

Superbinge

2012-02-06T13:00:00.000-05:00

Last week: 221.0 This week: 222.0 Difference: +1.0 So something doesn't add up. I track both my calories and my exercise via myfitnesspal and I was "only" over about 1700 calories this week between "diet" and exercise. 1700 calories is half a pound. Not one pound. I should not have gained that much, in theory. Now if I tracked the actual times I consumed my calories, I'd say I probably eat half

Anniversary

2012-02-02T15:57:00.001-05:00

Well today is an exciting day! It is the anniversary of my original commitment toward getting healthy in 2009. I have maintained my loss of 30 lbs since then. This year I'm "stepping it up," so to speak. My friend Stephanie runs Step it up With Steph in Chicago. She is a life coach and for a little while I've been considering going through her workbook. It's a 30-day workbook called "30 Days to

what a week

2012-01-30T11:41:00.001-05:00

Last week: 224.0 This week: 221.0 Difference: -3.0 Hooray! I was so worried I wouldn't have a loss this week! On Tuesday I binged and consumed about 3000 calories for the day. Not a good day at all. I was cranky and hungry and felt deprived so I binged and ate about 1400 calories in one sitting. Note, it's probably not a good idea to have tiramisu lying around in your freezer waiting for a weak

Sunday thoughts

2012-01-29T21:57:00.000-05:00

So I'm a good Catholic girl and I go to church every Sunday, same time, same place. I don't usually have many insights during Mass but today I did, and they're related to this blog so I'm sharing them with you. During the homily the priest reminded us of the well-known great commandment, "Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself." Well God gave me a very large heart and I try to love everyone as

analyzing my sleep

2012-01-24T09:10:00.002-05:00

There's totally an app for that. Last night I was browsing through the Health and Fitness apps in the Apple App store and the number one paid app was SleepCycle. It claimed it "analyzes your sleep patterns and wakes you in the lightest sleep phase - a natural way to wake up where you feel rested and relaxed." I figured I had $50 in iTunes gift cards from Christmas to use, so purchasing the

I work out

2012-01-23T12:04:00.003-05:00

Last week: 227.5 This week: 224.0 Difference: -3.5 Hooray!! I could hardly sleep last night because I was so excited to get on the scale this morning. How many times in your life can one say that? haha! I worked really hard for that 3.5 lbs, too. In the last four days I went running, did my weight training, did intense cardio, and did some yoga. The last three I attribute to the Inside Out

Biggest Loser lessons

2012-01-19T19:23:00.002-05:00

So by now those of you that follow Biggest Loser have probably watched yesterday's episode so you'll know what I'm talking about. If you haven't, that's okay, no spoilers here. There were just a few moments that touched me. Bob was training Emily and she was getting upset that she was only lifting 45 lbs when she used to lift 145. Bob said to her, "You have 30 seconds to keep feeling sorry for

setbacks

2012-01-16T23:56:00.001-05:00

Last week: 225.5 This week: 227.5 Difference: +2.0 My grandmother died. From the moment I heard the news last Wednesday all I wanted to do was stuff my face. We gathered in central Ohio for the funeral last weekend and I shared a room with my brother. Now that we're adults we can order all the pizza we want, and we enabled each other. We were in mourning. There was an under abundance of

first weigh in of the new year

2012-01-10T00:37:00.000-05:00

Last week: 228.5 This week: 225.5 Difference: -3.0 This is my happy face :) Looking forward to next week already.

meet my frenemy

2012-01-08T00:37:00.000-05:00

So I'm sure you're aware I haven't posted any pictures of anything for about the last year. With my magic powers I can see you clicking on the awesome pages I put together featuring my best-of posts, my motivation, and my progress. Every time I see you click there I think, "oh no why did you go there? There's nothing new. I'm sorry." I'm also aware of who is viewing my blog, including my exes who

back in the game

2012-01-07T01:11:00.001-05:00

Happy New Year my dears!! I am so excited! I'm looking forward to getting back into running. I really do miss it. Today Facebook gave me a gentle nudge to sign up for a local half marathon. Now I've done the Detroit Free Press Half Marathon a few times. It's an international course between Detroit and Windsor. This year they've introduced the US-only course. The international course is the first

party food

2011-12-24T02:32:00.002-05:00

It's party season! If you're like me that comes with plenty of awkward conversation. Some people you really don't want to talk to so instead of talking you just end up stuffing your face. That happened to me, or it would have had I not detected the impulse to do so. I started off the evening with a meal away from the party. A turkey sandwich and some chips after an exhausting afternoon of

coffee update

2011-12-05T11:40:00.001-05:00

My Monday morning just got so much better! I pulled into the Starbucks drive through and ordered my usual "nonfat, no whip mocha" and the barista asked me "do you want that with the sugar-free syrup?" I was astonished! "You have sugar free mochas now???" They do! "What are they sweetened with?" He told me he believed it was a splenda-type sweetener, and he's heard great reviews. I was sold. "All

we are constantly being judged

2011-11-24T11:16:00.001-05:00

My paranoia is totally founded. I always expect to be judged and that's part of the reason I feel the need to present myself in a good way. Here's a little story that only proves my point: I was having a conversation with a very thin friend of mine at work yesterday. She was complaining that when she sells our chocolate cake (that benefits the Children's Miracle Network), at least one table

control and balance

2011-11-21T23:54:00.001-05:00

The last few days I've been thinking about what it means to have control. I've realized that I've become a very controlling person and I don't like not being in control of a situation. This has come to light in part because of a recent situation at school for a team project. In just about every group I'm in I like to be the leader. I always assumed it was because I wanted practice for real life

bye week

2011-11-09T12:59:00.003-05:00

So you all know my best friend, Kaitlin? She let me have a bye week this past week. I don't have to weigh in this week thanks to recent events. Next week I do. She also assigned me the project of introspection. It's time to work on me. I'm doing a lot of personal reflection and probably over-thinking things. Mental health is just as important as physical health, so that's what I'm especially

questioning coffee

2011-11-07T08:53:00.000-05:00

It's no secret that I love coffee. I drink it just about every day. It makes me less zombie-like, more human in the mornings that I need a little help. I know it's the start of a coffee addiction but I'm not too worried about it. I went three days in a row this weekend without it so that must count for something. This morning I wanted a latte that wasn't overly sweet, so I asked for sugar-free

thank goodness it's not 1939

2011-11-03T21:24:00.004-04:00

A friend of mine posted this to facebook today. She got it from the Food Network Magazine. It's fascinating, nonetheless. Enjoy! (click for a larger image) In short, it says: Foods for Good Nutrition Does your child eat them every day? Milk - a liter is great; preferably a quart Butter - at every meal Cereal, Bread, or Potato - at every meal Vegetables - other than potato - at least two daily

a new week

2011-11-02T07:30:00.002-04:00

You know what a terrible idea is? Breaking up the day after Halloween and during PMS week. All that leftover Halloween candy... this is just a bad trifecta! I'm freezing this candy so it's a lot more difficult to eat like it's popcorn. I realized I've become out of touch with myself. I'm really not a fan. So it's time to work on me all over again. I am going to relish being single! I think the

oh hey

2011-10-20T11:54:00.002-04:00

I don't really have much to say. I lost some weight this week! Woohoo! I don't really have much else to say. I hate blog posts that are shorter than tweets. Have you ever written papers (or in my case, blogs), where you just ramble and write nonsense until the page is filled up? Me either... I had the perfect banana this morning. It's not too starchy yet. It's yellow with a hint of green at each

new theme song

2011-10-12T11:58:00.002-04:00

I heard this song for the first time on the radio yesterday and have since played it approximately 20 times since. I walked around campus this morning singing it. Well, okay I strutted. I love this song because it's got a great beat and it's very catchy--it'd be a great song to workout with (if you're into listening to music while working out). Plus it's hilarious and doesn't take itself

what a week it has been

2011-10-11T12:09:00.003-04:00

I have to say it’s been a very interesting couple of weeks here. I’ve been eating recklessly due to a lack of planning. School, work, and social obligations make it difficult to eat on a regular schedule and there have been many days that I’ll eat a large meal anticipating not being able to eat for awhile, only to find that I manage to get another meal just a few hours later. The weather has

I'm not (blank) enough

2011-09-29T23:36:00.002-04:00

I'm a workaholic. I've only ever taken two sick days from work in my working life (going on 12 years). I can't tell you the last time I took an actual vacation with no agenda. I really like being on the go, so it's hard for me to just be on vacation. A lot of times I feel like I don't deserve a vacation.That gets me thinking about the fact that I feel like I don't deserve a lot of things because

Biggest Loser Week 1

2011-09-21T14:42:00.000-04:00

Hey everyone! I managed to weigh in this week. Up a half of a pound. Somewhat frustrating but I didn't record every calorie so I guess I know where I went wrong. Not a big deal. I know I'm not in a slump anymore since I've lost something like 6 or 8 pounds in the last couple of months. The going may be slow but it's going.I found a yoga studio that I might like. They offer free classes Tuesday

checkup

2011-09-08T14:02:00.001-04:00

Hello world. Not much new going on in life. I'm blogging right now instead of studying :) Always a good idea, right? Especially if it's for your entertainment!Today I visited the doctor. Everything's normal. My blood pressure was 114/78; pretty good. I hated the fact that every time they asked me if I exercised (FOUR TIMES! seriously, it was on the form I just handed you!) I said no. For the most

watch it

2011-08-23T15:22:00.000-04:00

I'm just watching this video and felt the need to share here. Dr. Brené Brown is a researcher professor at the University of Houston, Graduate College of Social Work, where she has spent the past ten years studying a concept that she calls Wholeheartedness, posing the questions: How do we engage in our lives from a place of authenticity and worthiness? How do we cultivate the courage, compassion

fear of finishing

2011-08-22T02:43:00.000-04:00

I was just reading this and thinking about how it applies to all aspects of my life, both personally and professionally, and felt the need to share it with you. The fear of finishing is a very genuine fear of mine. As this weight loss journey continues, it is an everpresent fear. I'm afraid to finish because I feel that I will gain it all back, so if I don't finish I won't gain it all back, right

need more yoga

2011-08-19T01:45:00.001-04:00

I certainly need more yoga in my life! For as hard as I work I get a lot of stiffness in my body. Seriously, it hurts to even do child's pose! And what little flexibility I had as a kid doing dance is soooo gone. That's the only thing running has taken away from me--my flexibility :( I hold a lot of tension in my hips and my shoulders and I would love to sit in pigeon and child's pose for hours.

how to lose 5 lbs in one week

2011-08-16T13:01:00.000-04:00

Start out really fat. Okay, I'm not so very fat. Just a little fat. But it's enough that when I have a calorie goal of 1600 calories per day I lose a fair amount of weight. I guess I lost five pounds this week. It's hardish but not impossible. I'm finding a good balance between eating healthy and indulging. When I started this the first go around back in 2009 I was limiting myself to 1200

taking inventory

2011-08-11T10:00:00.000-04:00

I have a problem. My workout gear drawer is exploding. So today I decided to dissect it and see exactly what is in there. I've come to the conclusion that I will never work out this much in one week, and rarely two, the average amount of time between laundry sessions. So why hold on to all of this? I guess I like the variety. But it's kind of ridiculous. Here's the inventory: 4 tech tank tops 8

day two

2011-08-10T10:25:00.002-04:00

So yesterday I figured was day one. There is nothing like hitting rock bottom and starting fresh. I was under my 1600 calorie goal and I did a yoga workout. I have not done an entire yoga workout in I can't tell you how long. It was super refreshing. It was also VERY HARD. I really want to push myself to my former ability but I just can't. My planks are so pathetic right now. I miss my abs of

readjusting

2011-08-08T23:13:00.001-04:00

So it's no surprise that I've been on the struggle bus lately with this whole weight loss thing. Heck, you could even say that I've been on the struggle bus for the last year, looking at the numbers. I'm not giving up. I'm just readjusting. I've recently realized that running just isn't fun for me anymore so I'm looking for new fun ways to up my fitness. I'm open to suggestions. Kyle suggested

there goes a dish

2011-07-27T19:59:00.000-04:00

I feel like I'm juggling a lot of plates these days. Work. Research/School. Training. Spending time with friends/the boyfriend. I really need to drop one and I was thinking about what Kaitlin told me how I can always make time for running. The problem is, with all these other plates, I don't really want to make time for running anymore. I missed my long run on Sunday, so I figured I'd run it

terrifying

2011-07-24T00:05:00.000-04:00

So I have to admit I'm not entirely fearless. I'm about to email about an audition for a choir that I have been wanting to join for three years now and it's pretty scary. And the thing is, if I got it, the performance I want to partake in is the day before my half marathon which would mean no half marathon for me; I would choose music over everything. I've worked hard... I deserve this, right?

hello summer

2011-07-19T09:32:00.000-04:00

Alright, it's officially summer. I'm sitting here debating about going for a run when it's already 80 degrees outside. Blech. My workout yesterday was placing concrete. That's it. Hahaha. I was incredibly geeked about it, too. My family is putting a hot tub in and we now have a concrete slab to place it on. It was crazy hot yesterday, too. I lost a pound this week. I'm pretty sure it's through

taking care of the Ladies (some more)

2011-07-17T22:34:00.002-04:00

Today's post isn't so much about weight loss... it's about self love. When you love your body you take care of it. I've been saving up for a special shopping trip for awhile now. My friend Kirstin told me about this store in Chicago that she and her mother went to that was life-changing. I'm talking about Intimacy, and recently a store has opened near Detroit! They sell bras there, like many

I'm sore

2011-07-13T09:41:00.000-04:00

Wow. I'm sore. I'm so devoted to getting back in shape right now. Too bad my eating habits are not reflecting that! I managed to do all my scheduled runs in the last week, even if they were all a day after they were initially scheduled. I'm also trying to cross train with the bike and swimming. Add all that to working as a waitress and being on my feet 3-7 hours every day. Today is my day off and

nervous!

2011-07-08T10:18:00.000-04:00

I'm a bit nervous for this weekend. My friends and I like to laugh, and we've been joking for awhile about doing a sangria tour, sampling the various sangrias around town. We've been joking about instead of t-shirts doing buttons, or fanny packs, or even customized mugs. Well I took the initiative and we're actually touring this weekend! Unfortunately, that is a lot of alcohol... it's going to

livid at work

2011-07-06T17:07:00.000-04:00

I have to say that I do get kind of mad at work sometimes. On Monday I was upset because I was scheduled to work a double on a gorgeous grilling holiday, and so there's no way we would be busy. I perked up when we just got slammed all day. But one woman made me so mad. Her four year old daughter was asking to get milk and the woman spoke up and said "no, you're getting a pepsi." Mind you the

training underway

2011-07-03T09:43:00.001-04:00

This morning I managed to wake up bright and early (despite a late night of insomnia) with the aid of coffee to run my long run for the week. I did not want to run in the heat so this early rise was essential. Just 82 days before my half! I really enjoyed my run and thought up of a few good topics to discuss here in the upcoming week :) I know it's summer because it's the time for endless

quick update

2011-06-27T15:56:00.000-04:00

I had a dream last night that it was less than a month until my race! I immediately looked at the calendar and realized that--phew!--it was still June. At least for a little while :) My race isn't until September and that training schedule I set up a few months ago? Yeah, I've been ignoring it pretty well. Too much sleeping in! We can pretend that I don't have time because I'm working something

quickly

2011-06-22T11:25:00.001-04:00

I lost a pound this week :) Not sure what else to write today. Have a great week!

ladies, take care of your Ladies

2011-06-15T08:00:00.000-04:00

We've all seen Oprah's bra intervention. If you haven't you might want to google it. And as members of the fairer sex who are losing weight, I'm willing to bet that I'm not the only one here who has a few extra bras in my drawer that will never be worn again. Am I right? Well I was looking into ways to get rid of them, and rather than just throw them away, I'm going to donate a pair to http://

some week

2011-06-14T10:21:00.001-04:00

So the scale says I'm up a pound. I'm not so sure about that. I'm not too worried though because that means I'll have a great week next week :) Earlier this week I was walking through the grocery store picking up items on the list. I walked past the peach/nectarine display and they were so ripe I could smell them! So inevitably I picked out a few soft yet firm ones. But were they peaches or

body image video

2011-06-12T01:09:00.000-04:00

You may have seen this, but in case you haven't, here you go:

new things

2011-06-10T14:44:00.000-04:00

Hey all! Just a quick little update to tell you I've updated my blog a teensy bit. Since I've been on here for awhile it is time to keep track of my "best of" posts! You'll notice a cute little link to find, in my opinion, the best of my blog under "Best of Fearless." You'll also see a little tab for "Resources" including information and links on High Fructose Corn Syrup and food additives. I'm

tech/geeky stuff

2011-06-08T23:30:00.000-04:00

My blog has a QR code. Scan it with your smartphone (or iPod touch, iPad, etc.) and check out my new mobile-friendly blog layout: Looks like blogger doesn't have personalization of these templates yet, but it looks SOOO much better in a mobile browser this way! And I guess I'll add something fitness-related to this post... I swam for 45 minutes today without getting tired. I'm a freaking fish

sugar

2011-06-07T16:24:00.000-04:00

Had a great weigh in yesterday--down another pound! Yay! This morning it said I was up 2.5... so I'm going with yesterday's weight and increasing the water, decreasing the salt today :) Not much to post today, just read another article on sugars and want to pass it along: What Sugar Actually Does to Your Brain and Body. I knew about the HFCS (and make a point to avoid them), and suspected the

race report!

2011-06-05T10:19:00.000-04:00

Well I had fun this morning. I did my very first 10K (even though I've done four half marathons). I have to say it's a great race length. Long enough to be a good run, but short enough not to kill my energy for the rest of the day. I realized earlier this week that I haven't run more than 4 miles at a time in about 11 months. I felt pretty screwed for this race. But it's all mental. I kept

nothing but heart

2011-05-31T10:50:00.000-04:00

Hey guys! I'm down another pound today! Hooray for not having a fluke last week! It's not about looking good to fit in a dress, and it's not about making excuses. It's just about calories in vs. calories out, and it takes heart. A lot of it. I want this so bad I even went for a run on Sunday just before going to a barbecue and drinking three glasses of Oberon (mmm). I have to say I love

foodie

2011-05-29T00:43:00.002-04:00

I think it's safe to admit that I'm a foodie. I love food, obviously, but it goes way beyond that. I'll order the best thing at every restaurant. If everything looks amazing, then I'll opt for the most unique dish. Today I adventured into the world of food cart dining. There is a unique dining experience happening in Ann Arbor right now called Mark's Carts where about 6 or 7 food carts are

hate admitting I was wrong

2011-05-24T11:43:00.000-04:00

Well. This Tuesday is a surprise for me. I lost 2.5 pounds this week! Wow! And I had beer. And chocolate. And sangria. So I don't really see why, but I'll take it. Even a few days ago when my man asks if I lost weight I look at him like he is crazy and say that of course I haven't lost weight. Well apparently I have. I'll admit, I was wrong. Tracking (most of) my calories, even if I haven't been

I love my hat

2011-05-22T14:11:00.000-04:00

It's really hot out today. Goodbye spring, hello summer. I slept in until about noon today and I was pretty sore from a looooong day at work yesterday. So the best idea ever? Go for a run. I may be crazy, but I take care of myself with sunscreen and a hat. I'd originally bought a hat to run in the rain with (crazy, I know) because I heard that the brim of a hat can help keep rain out of your eyes

bruises

2011-05-17T14:13:00.000-04:00

I'm starting to accept the fact that I bruise very easily. It's kind of ridiculous. I'm not really sure where 90% of my bruises come from! But this week I have some bad ones on my arms from getting too aggressive with the ice machine at work last week. I'm really surprised that no one has said anything. I'd hope that if I had some bad bruises someone would care enough to say something. What if my

quick read

2011-05-13T17:04:00.001-04:00

Hey all! I just wanted to post a link to a quick read from Women's Health about how our weight is affected by our relationships. I put a checkmark next to every point! I can make up a lot of excuses for my gain, but this pretty much pinpoints all of it. The article also offers up suggestions on fixing unhealthy couply habits. I'm implementing one tonight by cooking dinner--beer butt chicken. The

my tummy hurts

2011-05-11T10:06:00.000-04:00

I'm not sure what to make of it, but my tummy is being hyper-sensitive the last few days. Yesterday I had a tummy ache for about 8 hours between lunch and late night, and there was a time when I was curled up on the bathroom floor wishing I could just get sick so that it would go away. I felt such a huge relief when it did dissapate, thanks in part (I think) to Mylanta (though I'd taken it HOURS

where's the beef?

2011-05-05T20:45:00.000-04:00

I'm not going vegetarian anytime soon, apparently. I blame the weather for my current craving for steak. Last night I had a grilled T-bone, and I didn't even touch the tenderloin side, I just ate the strip steak side. Not at all my usual. Tonight I went to a restaurant and ordered another grilled strip steak. And I realized something. I can totally tell the difference between a select, choice, or

alcohol & my health

2011-05-01T12:42:00.001-04:00

It's no secret that alcohol is one of my favorite indulgences. It's nearly impossible to restrict myself in that department. I'm a fan of beer, wine, and liquor, alike. When I get a cold, however, I have to say no. It's pretty much the only time that I do. I know that alcohol reduces the immune system's ability to combat diseases, as well as dehydrates the body. Funnily enough, I learned this

yuck

2011-04-26T21:13:00.000-04:00

Things just aren't going right here. I'll be motivated one day, and the next not care about anything. It's so frustrating. I have so many excuses. Easter is difficult. So is resisting the temptation of beer, pizza, and tequila shots. With that said, I'm really not sure how I'll find my motivation again. With that said, I'm loving the Biggest Loser this season. I <3 Olivia and Hannah, the purple

I feel thinner already

2011-04-19T12:46:00.001-04:00

Really, that title should say "healthier" as opposed to "thinner," but I'm being real and telling you that right now I care about being thinner more. Just for right now. I'm sure the pendulum will swing the other way toward the healthier side of things as summer progresses. It usually does. Anyway, I say I feel thinner already, even though I've lost zero pounds in the last couple weeks. Gained

I would really like to lose weight

2011-04-18T19:31:00.000-04:00

So I'm really procrastinating my homework right now. I really don't even want to think about it. That's why I'm blogging :) Earlier today I got my bike (Sky) fitted with new handlebars. They are such a vast improvement over the old ones! You see, my hands would fall asleep with the old ones because the handlebars that came with the bike were too big for me. Finally this week the new ones arrived

midweek check-in

2011-04-07T23:27:00.000-04:00

I had quite a few thoughts during my run this evening, which in and of itself is a point of interest. This evening I ran 4 miles at intervals. I'd scheduled my run for tomorrow but moved it to today as I needed it after a frustrating day. After class I convinced myself to go running, saying it's just 3 miles at easy pace, I can do it. No big deal. It wasn't until I was changed and on the track

dirty little secret

2011-04-05T14:00:00.004-04:00

This week: 221.5 Last week: 218.0 Difference: +3.5?!!!! I have a confession, and I think you already know since you've seen the numbers going up, up, up. I'm a fast food junkie, and it's just getting worse rather than better. For the most part I've kept it under control but that just means not losing, not gaining. Just kind of coasting. Well in the last few weeks I started drinking chocolate

new bike!

2011-04-04T17:52:00.000-04:00

So I got a lovely new bike last week :) I realized I didn't write a post about it, so here we go! This is Sky. I have been pinching and saving for a road bike for awhile now, and finally for my birthday I thought it would be time to go on and get that bike! I walked into the bike shop and told them what I was looking for in a bike. They selected this one for me and had me test ride it in the

they say it's your birthday

2011-04-01T17:54:00.000-04:00

It's my birthday! Yay me :) And because it's a Friday in Lent, we're going to a seafood restaurant. Granted, it's my favorite restaurant anywhere. But still kinda sucks I can't eat meat on my birthday :( Kirstin and I both agree it's a silly Catholic thing, and we're so over it. I think I had chicken one Friday for lunch a couple of weeks ago. OOPS. But I hardly ever eat fish any other time of

I don't want to focus on the numbers

2011-03-29T09:17:00.000-04:00

Last week: 216.5 This week: 218.0 Difference: +1.5 Gross. Had a great run on Sunday though. Gym tonight since I forgot to dry all of my running gear after washing it last night, and it's 20 degrees outside and I NEED my running gear for that! BRR! Oh well. Hate procrastinating a run, but what can you do?

surprise!

2011-03-15T14:06:00.002-04:00

It's a pop video blog because I don't really have time to write a book today :) It's so awesomely awkward. Enjoy!

back to the trails

2011-03-13T09:58:00.000-04:00

The great thing about your favorite trail is that it doesn't judge you for avoiding it for an entire season, it is right there waiting for you to return with open arms, and when you do return it greets you with open arms as if you'd never left. Today I went to the old park for my run. I haven't been there in ages. I remember driving past it once this winter and getting emotional, thinking how

briefly

2011-03-10T02:12:00.001-05:00

I keep forgetting to write about this!! Well you all know Jillian Michaels is basically my hero :) She's got a new podcast out which I'm super excited about! You should definitely check out the first podcast in the series (I think it's dated February 2 or some such nonsense). She goes into depth about what it means to be fearless (14 minutes into the podcast)! I almost drove off the road when

Fat Tuesday

2011-03-08T08:58:00.001-05:00

This week: 218.0 Last week: 215.5 Difference: +2.5 Ugh. Not the right direction. It may have been affected by the Chinese food and lack of sleep from last night. It may have been affected by the bag of Easter candy that disappeared last week. It was not affected by my lack of exercise, so I guess that's okay :) Today is Fat Tuesday. I will tell you that I'm having a paczek and coffee for

I'm their go-to person

2011-03-04T13:04:00.000-05:00

Meeting me off the street, knowing nothing about me, you wouldn't think that a person who appears to be obese would be the go-to person for fitness. But looks can be deceiving (as evidenced by some of the Olympic athletes in this photo study, we come in all shapes and sizes). So I think it's kinda funny that people are facebook messaging me for advice. Randomly a former coworker of mine asked me

time

2011-03-02T09:46:00.000-05:00

Last week I had a great discussion with Kaitlin. I told her I had decided to quit choir because I simply didn't have time for it this semester. Later in our conversation I told her that I was afraid to get out running again. I know, I'm fearless and yet I'm afraid at the same time. Doesn't make sense. I told her that if I don't have time for choir which is just once a week, I would feel so guilty

tubby Tuesday

2011-03-01T14:15:00.000-05:00

This week: 215.5 Last week: 216.0 Difference: -0.5 And here I thought I'd gained something this week. The scale was going back and forth between 216 and 215.5 for a few seconds before landing on 215.5. So it's pretty much the same as last week. I've been doing the cooking in this house for the last few weeks because my mother has been away taking care of my grandma. I wish I could be there to

Staying accountable

2011-02-22T21:41:00.002-05:00

This week: 216.0 Last week: 213.0 Difference: +3.0 Boo. I didn't like this number this morning. I realized earlier that I honestly can't remember the last time I got out my yoga mat. I'm excited to do yoga for a half hour, even if I lay in childs pose the whole time because I'm feeling a little under the weather. I like the idea of yoga because it's not an intimidating workout. Running has

bruised and battered: what volleyball taught me about life

2011-02-19T15:54:00.000-05:00

There are times in my life that I fall down. I'm speaking quite literally here. I'm very coordinated. I have fantastic lightning-quick reflexes. But sometimes I just fall. This one time at a former job I tripped on a piece of asphalt and bit it. Most people break their fall with an arm or something but I broke it as I would diving for a ball in volleyball... I tried to slide. Chest up. Arms back

not my favorite week

2011-02-15T19:15:00.000-05:00

I had a bad case of the stomach flu on Sunday, so I'm not doing a weigh-in this week. Thankfully it was short-lived and I'll be back to my normal blog posts next week :) Happy late Valentine's all :) I hope you spent it with those you love!

paralyzed by fear

2011-02-11T11:14:00.000-05:00

As I was drifting off to sleep last night I was thinking about dancing. I realized that I haven't danced in public in over 3 years! And the only dancing I've done is in my own house or in Kirstin's kitchen. Kitchens are great places for dancing :) But I digress. So last week I was invited out for dancing and at first I said yes to their face, then I waffled and said no later when I could text

I'm still skinny

2011-02-08T15:35:00.000-05:00

I'm still skinny. Skinny being a relative term, of course. Today was weigh-in day and I haven't gained or lost any weight since my last official weigh in. Of course there were intermittent weigh-in Tuesdays that I ignored due to gains, but I'm back where I was three weeks ago so what does it matter? There may have been one or two pans of brownies that were made and subsequently vanished during

It's a special day!

2011-02-02T14:54:00.000-05:00

I figured I'd celebrate this special day in a special way. It's a little awkward, but that's me ;) Enjoy!!

tuesday

2011-01-18T10:05:00.002-05:00

Last week: 215.5 This week: 213.0 Difference: -2.5 Another good week :) There's something to be said about tracking food intake, even though I didn't log in for 3 days here... whoops... I bought a fun fearless groupon today. It's a groupon for a brazilian wax. I'll probably save it for the summer. It's the last fearless thing on my list--I've seen the gyno, I got a full-body massage. This is

enablers

2011-01-12T14:39:00.000-05:00

I've been wanting to write a blog post about enablers for awhile. I'd considered tying it into yesterday's post, but I was not awake enough yesterday... I may have even gone back to bed afterward! But now it's 2 PM and I finally had my morning coffee (yes, at 2 pm...). It's funny how unconscious being influenced by your friends or even influencing your friends into making bad choices can be. So

this week

2011-01-11T11:35:00.000-05:00

Last week: 218.5 lbs This week: 215.5 lbs Difference: -3.0 lbs Well I have to say I didn't do all three of my promises to myself. I really didn't move much at all. But the thing that I think made a big difference was just tracking my food. I didn't really watch my calories; some days I was under, some days I was under myfitnesspal.com's calorie goal for me. But I think it did keep me from eating

recommitment

2011-01-03T11:11:00.001-05:00

I was talking to Kaitlin last night and realized that even though I wasn't making any resolutions, I wanted to initiate an official recommitment toward myself and my weight loss goals. I'd originally intended to start on Tuesday along with the Biggest Losers, but I woke up this morning and thought why wait? So here are the stats for the new year: Last year: 250.5 lbs Today: 218.5 Difference: -

Becoming second nature

2010-12-21T16:41:00.003-05:00

Previous: 211.5 This week: 214.5 Difference: +3.0 Really not too bad for going through a breakup, finals, and Christmas. At this rate I suppose you could say I've been maintaining for the last four months. I can't really complain because I haven't been counting calories or working out. So how is maintaining at 215 different than 250? I guess over the past 10 months this has become second nature

What do you wear to be fearless?

2010-12-16T23:17:00.000-05:00

What do you wear to be fearless? A suit? A dress? A hospital gown? Nothing at all? I have to say it's been an interesting year so far in my fearless experiment. What better way to round it all out, by baring all and treating myself to a massage today? I'd never gotten a full body massage, only ever the seated chair massages and that was years ago before I bought myself a percussion massager.

being fearless

2010-11-23T01:37:00.000-05:00

And if I were fearless Then I'd speak my truth And the world would hear this That's what I wish I'd do, yeah That's "Let the Rain" by Sara Bareilles. It's raining outside right now, and these lyrics speak to me and I've wanted to post this video for awhile. I was thinking yesterday about fears. What am I truly afraid of? I'm not sure. I honestly couldn't think of any earth-shattering fears. I

I returned the dress

2010-11-18T15:31:00.000-05:00

The title says it all. When it comes down to it, the dress was just too expensive just to hang in my closet, so I returned it to the store. If it's still there when I'm down to that size I can have it. Otherwise I'll just let it go. There are other fabulous clothes to wear when I'm down to that size :) And this way I can give all the fabulous people in my life the gifts they deserve for Christmas!

going in the right direction

2010-11-16T08:09:00.000-05:00

Last week: 214.0 This week 211.5 Difference: -3.5 That is a very nice loss I must say :) So long as I keep that up I will FINALLY be out of this stupid decade. I may make it a quiet goal to hit below 200 by 2011. Then I can be done with the 200s for forever! How awesome would that be? New Year's resolution, my foot! No need, cause I'll be on a roll!

oh yeah the dress

2010-11-12T17:44:00.001-05:00

I stepped on the scale this morning, as I do every morning. I swear that thing haunts me. Last night I made some brownies and they reflected on the scale this morning. NOT encouraging. It's so tempting after a night of binge eating to just try and starve myself the next day. But I know it doesn't work. So I eat normally. Well, as close to normally as I can while making up for an evening of sugar

headed in the right direction

2010-11-09T11:24:00.000-05:00

Last week: 215.5 This week: 214.0 Difference: -1.5 Okay, it feels good to lose this week. I worked out, I watched my calories (though not necessarily restricting them... just seeing where they were at). I finally feel like I earned this loss unlike the last 3 months of losing/gaining because of stress and whatnot. Now that I've got this momentum started I think I can keep rolling with it. Heh.

disturbing diet

2010-11-07T22:43:00.000-05:00

Today I went to a baby shower where I saw some good friends. There is one pair of twins whom I adore, and recently they started a fad diet called the HCG Diet where they take a couple pills each day and limit themselves to 500 calories. One girl who I would say probably started out around 280 has lost 25 pounds in the three weeks they've been doing this diet. They are both so excited about it and

not getting enough sleep/exercise/etc.

2010-11-02T06:15:00.001-04:00

Last week: 212.5 This week: 215.5 Difference: +3.0 Ugh. Not sure why the scale is going in the wrong direction. I had a little bit of halloween candy. I partied? Eh, it could be a whole host of reasons, all of which accumulated in a 3 lb gain this week. Gross. I'd rather it be a 3 lb loss. I'm so sick of this gain/loss/plateau but it's so hard to get out of this funk! Yuck. Here's hoping next